Prestigious&Privileged

I'm feeling kinda blah today.GAH!I can't make the top of my blog say anything besides my link.Well sue me for not being computer savvy.Mammy & papa's anniversary is tommorow.Shitz man.I haven't been out at all.How am I s'pose to get them anything.Hopefully we're going out after choir for dinner or else I'm kinda toast.Or maybe all they'll be getting is a handmade card and toast.I'm the worst daughter ever.Sigh...Oh HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY TO NARIZA!!!!!!!I actually studied again today.I felt good really.Like the heavy feeling in my heart is well lightening.Oh & contrary to what Nicole said in her blog.I don't really change my flings as fast as I change my undies ok?I change em alot faster.Haha.No I'm joking really.Oh yeah and Nicole we will survive!!! : )
This Thursday mammy was kinda late & it was raining.drizzling actually.Not that I was complaining.After a quick bite in the car,I was in kumon.Took work,did work,corrections,FAST FORWARD.
He came today.Actually he usually comes in the morn but sometimes he comes at night.I guess it was my lucky day.Well actually night.
Him
Me

So we meet again huh?
Uh heh heh yeah.I guess.Heh.
talk,laugh,talk,giggle,laugh DOUBLE FAST FORWARD.
Oh my moms here.
Oh umm ok
I was meaning to tell him I still had a crush on him last week but I had no guts to do so.Therefore it was an obligation to do it ther and then.I may never see him.EVER.ok not really never but you get it.
Umm hey ****
Yeah
I've got something to tell you
Shoot
Umm remember I used to like you before well its not true.
Oh but you told me...
Its not true cos I still like you now.
And I ran ran ran to the toilet to hide leaving my books and papers in the room.A little whlile later I went back thinking he was gone.But he wasn't.He was still there.He looked at me.I looked back.Then he walked towards me.I smiled.He forced one.Then he walked past.Me being well me thought oh whats up with him?
Then I saw on my book scribbled in blunt pencil lead.
Liked you too but the boat sailed.
And I laughed.Yeah I laughed.Don't know why but I did.Maybe cos I didn't get what was actually happening.But then it hit me.Hard.So hard I broke down.Fell into my chair stared at the note as little diamond like pearls formed at the edge of my eyes and wet my cheeks before dropping onto my notebook.I've liked him since standard four now he was in another school.I blame myself for not telling him.Sooner.Cos if I did this would never happen.I wouldn't have cried.This would be history.If only there was a rewind button I would reach for it for dear life.Friends have asked me to get on with life whats been done been done.Well I'm tryng.But its hard.So hard.But its no point crying.Its my fault and it's all there is to it.