Thursday, June 17, 2010

You want to know how to drive me absolutely crazy.
How to make my inside do double flips.

Oh baby you're doing it all right.

Been on the laptop since 10am.
Showered and had lunch (cos I don't think it'll be brunch any longer since it was 1pm).
Drowning myself in as much trance as possible. I always feel so 'lost' in trance. Perhaps that is why they call it trance.

I've been/am going in constant circles.

I want to go back to the AKLTG camp and stay there a lil' longer. I want to mojo back.


Staring at an empty document page. How long more will this take?
My thighs are hot from the ventilation of the laptop. Scarred from the indents of the laptop vent.
Red,hot and scarred.
But I still find myself backspacing every letter I type.
Everything is wrong. Everything is not right.

My room (I am) is a mess.
I need to fix this shit up pronto.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A wise man (well he is every right a man in my heart, attune to his facial hair as well c(: )
once told me that I am not complicated.

But I infact just somehow seem to manage to complicate the most simplest of things.
I know.

I do.

I don't know where you are,what you do,but I hope my heart it goes to find you.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Reality Television

Before I surrender my resting rights to the BiologyGod,
I would like to just say a few things.


I know we've all been (are still ) a sucker for these babies
(I watch Kardashians on repeat, seriously even it annoys ME!)

They've got loads on the telly now and the one thing I can't STAND IS!

Having reality television shows like 'The Bachelor'

For those who have been living under a rock for about ever, 'The Bachelor' is basically about said titlesake who gets to choose the love of his life out of a house full of,I don't know,10,15 girls?
Yeah,you're suppose to WIN to marry him.

I remember the first time watching my first episode of reality tv.
It was in fact 'The Bachelor' actually! I was in my final year of primary school, on a school trip to Langkawi. So after dinner and stuff me and a bunch of girls got really bored and decided to check out what was on tv.


Jo and Jyen Yiee started watching it first,but then halfway into the conversation I noticed that only Trina and I were talking.
The two were stuck,with similar stuck expressions...watching...watching..watching.
I thought that it was such a dumb show to watch,LIKE HONESTLY SO STUPID.

But 10 minutes later,

I was suddenly watching the damn show too,along with Trina.
THE BEST PART: I think it was some marathon so Jyen Yiee and I didn't make it past the door and ended up bunking with Jo and Trina (I was sharing a room with Jyen Yiee)

Truth is,reality tv sucks you in!
It's quite literally the satan of tv genres.

Even after watching it I still thought it was so freaking stupid.
WHO THE HELL wants to forgo their dignity just for a chance to possibly:

a) Attention whore
(Honestly speaking. About 73% of the girls in the show were probably in it for that)

b) To get the money
(The other part about 'The Bachelor' is that he suddenly chooses you,you get a choice of marrying him or keeping the money)

c) REALLY really bored
(The girl must like live in a nunnery or something)

d)She lost her job
(WELL this is sort of a valid reason right? But then again it will be a+b)

e)Looking for true love
(Because you'd definitely find her in a villa full of bitchy girls coveting for you-or just the $$$)

I think you'd make more valid fame and cash through being a PLAYBOY BUNNY.
At least these girls are not lying about "finding true love" when they're showing off their boobies.
If you really want to show them,JUST SHOW THEM.
Just please do not find some lame excuse to meet your one true love. Seriously.

Plus if you choose the money over the guy,man you are a slut and the guy. Ouch dude.

SECOND thing I quite dislike about reality tv is...

Making reality tv shows about people who don't even need one.

Guliana and Bill.

I have not (will not) watch this because....


I know Guliana is an E! NEWS caster but they aren't even celebrities.
I think 'Newlyweds' made more sense than THIS!

And Bill?
I really don't know who he is to be honest.

My dad said he was on some show he won.
"OH OH! I think he won Amazing Race couple years back!
I googled him and he was NOT in Amazing Race.
He was in 'The Apprentice'

And was "fired".

I am not trying to be all cool and shit but if you want REAL drama?
TV execs should consider giving my paternal family a show.

Oh you'd watch that.

But alls well, ends well.
You know why I can't hate them
(Aside the fact that I am TOO morally inclined (:0 )

Saved by the wedding photo.
You know I've never credited myself to being somewhat artistic in well the drawing,painting department.
I think drawing stick men and graphs are as far as my drawing capabilities go.
(I would to add that I don't know how to draw graphs well either)

So I'm guessing all it takes is a little boredom, a still subject, being too free
(And basically intending to spend the remaining time during your history exam doing something sort of 'beneficial')

It's not Alex okay?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Slowly, I breathed out a loud sigh.
Kakak has already turned the air conditioning off 20 minutes ago,and still here I am.In bed.
Wiping sleep from my eyes and just staring at the empty bunk bed on top of me.
I wonder why I'm not profusely sweating underneath the thick comforters. Then I remember I'm wearing just a thin black tank and black underwear. I reach for my thick-rimmed black glasses and I feel this all-black thing I have going on is probably quite reflective of how I feel now.


Just kind of empathetic.

I want to curl up in my bed and just do nothing.
But when I have the time I know I will never do that,because as lazy as I am,I am extremely unable to sit and do nothing for hours end.
I wish I was that lazy though.

Because that's what I really need right now.
To retire into the cold air and sleep.

I can't bring myself to do anything right now.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I'm not actually sure if angry is the right word to use.
It probably isn't. But I'm really sad that mommy is going to Jakarta.
I think my mother is my security blanket cos I don't feel safe when she is around.
And I hate to hate feeling this way,but actually I hate feeling this way anyway (?)

You know stepping into FormFive,I really felt like a lot of things would become simpler.

I dropped Chemistry for English Lit.
BUT Englsih Lit. is as hard as hell (I still love it though please do not misinterpret)

I sort of have this 'unspoken' freedom.
For example,on weekdays,I'm actually not allowed on the laptop but I do anyway.
(the reason why I am not allowed to? My brother doesn't exactly follow the rules so...)
BUT now I get this guilt trip whenever I am on the laptop (Note:I feel guilty but I don't do anything about it)

After loosing 2% of the weight I wanted to loose,I thought eating healthily would help.
But this does not apply because I eat a lot. But then I feel so bad for not eating healthily (see note above) HENCE I eat again.

I had serious prospects on serious studying. Everyday kind of thing. And well it works...for about 20 minutes then I zone out. And then there are days where I am at Chapter SEVENTEEN magazine and basically do not move get the picture.

And basically the list goes on.

I don't want to bore you with the fact that OH BOOHOO MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE. Because it isn't.
And I'm not going to cry and tell you that my life is over because I'm fat. Because it's not/I'm not.

It's just the simpler you think life will be,it will just get back to square one,ie:hard (or harder!?)

BUT what can I do right?
I think I am a lot less dramatic compared to couple years back. YAY?


Thursday, May 13, 2010

they are toned and wonderful.
you are beautiful all the same.

(ps. I have bad ones in my possession so don't make me do it sister!?)