Why is it this is the only thing you are so against?

Did you know always press me to work for what I want?

I did,and I got my place. But no congratulations nothing.

Nearly four whole years in DJ and you know very well I have loved it from the start.

That as July looms around,you pretend to go dumb,to ignore every comment,every update.

"Mmmm" or "Oh really?" is all that leaves your lips.

You're quick to switch topics like that. To push it away and pretend you didn't hear it.

BUT WHY?

Is it because it isn't "prestigious" enough?

Do I need to be debater?

I recall the look on your face when I told you I got in.

Shoot me if I'm worng but...

If I were to tell you that I was a debater,

that my practices were everyday,

that you'd need to pick me up,

that my Saturdays and Sundays would be full,

that I had not ONE,not TWO but AT LEAST 7 different debates to go for,

AND NO I can't drop out of any.

You know what?

I still think you'd say yes.

Not just that,oh you will gloat kill kingdom come.

"My daughter,she's a debater"

BUT

"My daughter,she's a cheerleader,"

Does not have that same "oomph" to you.

It does not leave an impact.

"Who would remember a cheerleader?"

Is that what you think?

I think I would remember them IF,

they worked hard and I saw them everyday,slaving for the best toe touches.

I would think,

"WOW these girls put their heart and soul in to this,"

You saw my gleaming face the moment I stepped into DJ,you knew that THIS was what I wanted.

But how many people did you call,

did you ask for opinions,when they were positive seek the negative

did you comment on transportation problems,

did you remark on the long hours,

did you cluck your tongue at their schedule...

"What about your tuition?"

"You won't be able to cope"

you even when so far as to associate them in cliques.

"But I spoke to Aunty ********. They are,well,apparently not very nice people,"

Of course you didn't use that sentence.

Oh no,you used a much harsher one,didn't you?

And to think that throughout my 16 years,weren't you the one telling me not to judge people?

You will never admit this but I think that,

I will never make you as proud as I did in primary.

I can see it in your eyes.

When I say it,you look away.

You get quiet,you turn around.

16 years you tell me not to lie,

Hey mum?

I think you shouldn't lie to yourself either.

I'm sorry,

I love you.